Canines and Clothes

Your dog wouldn't let this happen to you…

People who dress up their dogs should be arrested. There, I said it. I'd say it again if I had to.

I'm sorry, but it's just wrong. I would go so far as calling it animal cruelty. Dogs were not meant to wear clothes.

“But he looks so cute,” They will say.

“She likes wearing that. It makes her feel pretty,” They might argue.

Well, just take at look at this poor bastard.

“Not…one…word”

Now, don't get me wrong, I like Batman as much as the next person, but that is just plain wrong.

Does “Batdog” look like he enjoys wearing that?
Hell no.

Does he look handsome in that?
Well, I suppose that is debatable. I say he looks like a doofus.

Handsome or not, I guarantee that dog doesn't want to be caught dead in front of his little doggy buddies wearing that thing. No amount of leg-humping and car-chasing could ever make up for that costume and its “negative doggy-karma.” It's bad enough that he is one of those little ankle-biters, now you go and do that to him. How is he ever supposed to get any respect from his canine counterparts?

Dogs are not supposed to be cute. Dogs are supposed to be big and stupid. Dogs are supposed to eat that stuff at dinner that you can't even identify. Dogs are supposed to be a loyal friend and a convenient scapegoat when you break wind. They are supposed to hunt and crap on your carpet, not be dressed up like idiots and carried around like some kind of fashion accessory (by idiots). They aren't handbags, damn it. I don't even want to know where these girls are keeping their lipstick with these little dogs taking the place of their purses.

Maybe there are more important issues to be concerned about. Maybe I just need to let this one go...I don't know...

Someone should be arrested for doing that to that poor dog. That's all I'm saying.

-Derek Miller
12/15/05