1980 Color 90min
Starring: Carter Wong, Sing Chen, Ling Huang, Pan Jui King, Wenbing Li, Lieh Lo and Sida The French Monkey Star.
Directed by: Lee Shi Chieh and Lee Geo Shu
Monkeys. Those furry little goofballs have entertained us with their poop throwing antics for years. But monkeys are much more than funny little, diaper wearing, feces tossing furballs, there for our amusement. The noble monkey has enjoyed a long and storied career in the film industry. Don’t believe me? Well, try to picture “Every Which Way But Loose” without Clyde. Think how lame “The Wizard of Oz” would have been if there were no flying monkeys. Imagine the movie “Dunston Checks In” sans one Jason Alexander. Wait a minute…well, you get the idea.
Eat your heart out, Bonzo
Anyway my point is that monkeys are inherently awesome. Kung-fu movies are pretty cool, as well. So it would seem to follow that a kung-fu movie featuring a monkey would be spectacular. Well guess what I found…
As opposed to Sida The Norwegian Mongoose Star
Okay, here’s our story. The princess is poisoned in a failed assassination attempt on the king. She immediately falls into a coma and no one in the palace has the medical knowledge to save her. The situation is so grave, in fact, that the king is forced to decree that anyone who can save his daughter’s life will win her hand in marriage (You see where this is going, right?). Much to everyone’s dismay, the only one who shows up with a cure is a cute little monkey. Though a little confused, the king allows the monkey to administer treatment to his daughter. Remarkably, his potion gets the princess back on her feet in no time (After she spews up a cup full of brown goop…Eww) and everyone in the palace is overjoyed. Until they remember the king’s promise, that is.
Being a man of his word, the king decides that he must follow through with his promise and allow the monkey to marry his daughter. The princess is understandably upset by this news, but she is eventually persuaded to marry the monkey to save her father’s honor. Seems to me that it would be less of a problem to be seen as a bit of a liar than to be seen as the guy who forced your only daughter to marry a small monkey, but what do I know?
“We love each other, and you can’t stop us!”
So the two are quickly married and they set sail to live together on a deserted island. What? Where else would they live? We fast-forward a few months to find out that our happy couple are now expecting a child. Yes, I know what you‘re thinking. She’s having the monkey’s baby, right? I suppose that I could tell you, but I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.
“Ha!!! I’m bleeding. Making me the victor.”
That’s basically the movie. Just sprinkle in a little Carter Wong, add the mandatory revenge plot, stir in a monkey uprising, and the tragic death of “Uncle Monkey” (That’s what the child calls him. I guess “Dad” would be just too weird) and you’d have yourself a movie. In fact you’d have yourself this movie, to be exact.
Here we see “King Fop” along with his trusted advisor “Handle-hat Dandy”
So, does Kung Fu Arts live up to the spectacular promise of kung fu and monkeys melded together in the same film? Well unfortunately, no it doesn’t, but it is still worth a look for the sheer oddity of it. This movie is a little disappointing considering that there could’ve been kung fu wielding, roller-blading, ninja monkeys (It’s a long story, don’t worry about it), but it is pretty fun. Yeah it’s a little on the weird side and the action is lacking for a Carter Wong movie but hey, it’s got Sida, the French Monkey star. What more do you need?
Reviewed by Derek Miller
Posted 1/12/07