1987 color 106min
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Courtney Cox, Jon Cypher, Chelsea Field, Robert Duncan McNeill, James Tolkan, Christina Pickles and Billy Barty.
Directed By: Gary Goddard
I’m fairly confident when I say that most of you probably have a favorite cartoon from your childhood. For some of you it was probably Tom and Jerry, or maybe The Flintstones. For others it was Bugs Bunny or Transformers. Whatever your particular show may have been, chances are that you still remember the theme song, specific episodes, one-time characters, and other obscure things like that. You probably still linger on them when you stumble across an episode on television from time to time. For me there were two such cartoons: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and today’s subject, He-man.
While my love for the Ninja Turtles was certainly intense, He-man was my first passion. I watched the cartoon series religiously. I would waste away my Saturday mornings (I think that it was on Saturdays. Give me a break; it was almost 20 years ago.) watching the adventures of He-man and his trusty friend, Battlecat. Then when it was over I would spend the rest of the day running around the house in nothing but my socks and underwear (Not a pretty sight these days) battling Skeletor and his evil minions.
“By the Power of Grayskull, I Have The Power!!!”Naturally, if I was going to be He-man, I had to look the part. That meant socks and undies only, just like the big guy. I mean, how could I honestly be expected to fight the forces of evil while wearing pants? In keeping with my desire for authenticity, I would even roll my socks over themselves to simulate He-man’s fur boots. Of course the illusion wasn’t complete without He-man’s trademark sword and shield. Until my grandfather bought a sword and shield combo for me, I had to improvise with whatever I had at hand. Much to my father’s dismay, the cardboard backer board from his yellow legal pads usually worked well enough; when properly cut into separate sword and shield pieces, of course.
Luckily for all involved, I don’t spend a lot of my free time running around in my underoos anymore. Sadly my once epic battles with Skeletor and crew are now a thing of the past. My trusty Battlecat has been replaced by a slightly less imposing orange alley cat named Gidget. But despite all of this, I still have a soft spot in my heart for the big guy in fuzzy boots.
Behold! My new (and slightly sleepy) Battlecat!
Cower in fear, Skeletor. As you can see, it was really only a matter of time before I got around to tackling Masters of the Universe. Although the film was a huge disappointment for most He-man fans, mostly because of the lack of continuity with the cartoon series, it has slowly gained a cult following over the years. I don’t recall ever seeing it in the theater and by the time it finally worked its way to television, my interest in He-man was definitely waning.
I don’t remember if I hated the movie or not, but I do remember noticing certain, shall we say, inconsistencies between the cartoon and the motion picture. I specifically remember being a little disturbed by the fact that He-man was firing a laser gun throughout the entire movie. He-man doesn’t need a laser gun; he has the Sword of Power, for crying out loud. That, combined with the omissions of both Orko and Battlecat, led me to have a negative feeling towards the movie. In the years since, my rabid interest in He-man eventually disappeared completely, along with my interest in this movie.
I finally decided to track down this film a couple years back and give it one more chance. Far removed from my He-man fan-boy days, I didn’t really care about the inconsistencies anymore; instead I actually took the movie on its own merits. I must admit that I was surprised that I found it fairly entertaining. A little derivative and predictable perhaps, but still entertaining.
Dolph Lundgren, a big, blond, muscle-bound guy if there ever was one, plays He-man. I found him to be a fairly decent He-man. The only real problem is his accent, which can be a little thick at times, and leads to several unintentionally funny moments throughout the movie. This particular scene comes to mind:
♫♫Sweet, sweet vict-o-wee!♫♫
Courtney Cox makes her big screen debut as Julie, the girl who originally finds the Cosmic Key that our heroes lost after their transport to Earth. There isn’t much negative to say about her performance. She is very natural and believable, and does a pretty good job throughout. I just wanted to mention her because she is as cute-as-a-bug’s-ear in this thing, and I just needed a reason to show a picture of her. So here it is:
Courtney Cox, circa 1987. Cuteness factor: 11/10
The rest of the cast, including Jon Cypher, Chelsea Field, Robert Duncan McNeill, James Tolkan, and the legendary Billy Barty, all do a more than adequate job in their respective roles. In fact, I rather enjoyed Billy Barty performance as Gwildor. However, two actors in particular deserve special attention: Meg Foster and Frank Langella.
Meg Foster’s Evil-Lyn is almost perfect for my taste. She is strong, ruthless, and cunning, while remaining beautiful and feminine at the same time. She adds a lot of credibility to what could have been an otherwise goofy role in the hands of someone else.
Evil-Lyn: 50% Evil. 50% Lyn. 100% Bitch.
As good as Meg Foster was as Evil-Lyn, Frank Langella’s Skeletor was even better. Langella manages to take what is essentially a one dimensional character in the cartoon (He’s evil. Very evil) and turn him into an actual person. He manages to give Skeletor a sense of wit and intelligence with just a tinge of insanity thrown in for good measure. I have read other reviews that call his performance over-the-top and corny, but I could not disagree more. What other way is there to play Skeletor? He is a tyrannical megalomaniac, who wears a cape and has a skull for a face. What do you want, subdued? Langella took the role seriously, and it shows. If he had played him as a campy send up, ala Adam West, it would have been almost unbearable to watch.
You may accuse me of getting way too much into the acting of this film; I mean c’mon, this is Masters of the Universe not Hamlet, right? Well while that may be so, without Langella and Foster this movie would have been almost unwatchable. Without strong villains, you can’t have strong heroes. True, our heroes in this movie may not have matched their evil counterparts, but that certainly should take nothing away from the fine performances of our main baddies. They managed to take two ridiculous characters and give them both depth and credibility, and I admire that and I think that they deserve some credit.
He’s kinda got a Jack Palance as Ghost Rider thing going on, doesn’t he?Moving on to the plot, our story revolves around something called “The Cosmic Key,” a device that, by utilizing a series of musical tones, allows its user to open dimensional gates to anywhere he pleases. Unfortunately for the people of Eternia, the evil Skeletor has gained possession of the Cosmic Key and used it to overthrow Castle Grayskull and imprison the Sorceress of Eternia. With Grayskull and the Sorceress in his clutches, it seems that all of Eternia will now fall under his control. Unbeknownst to Skeletor, there is another key and He-man and friends are coming to even the score…
“Mom!!! They're using real lasers!” Obviously the plot isn’t exactly the deepest thing in the world, but hey it’s He-man. Unfortunately the shallow plot does little to hide the derivative nature of the movie, which is very apparent throughout. Star Wars is the one movie that comes most to mind, with Skeletor being treated as Darth Vader, and his legion of soldiers playing the part of Storm Troopers. Many scenes, like Skeletor’s introduction, seem to have been lifted straight out of Star Wars, actually. I’m in a good mood, so I’ll call it an homage, instead of a blatant rip-off.
“What? The saleslady said it looked good...Shut Up!!!”
The special effects are pretty good by 1987 standards. Not spectacular, but they get the job done. There are very few, “I can’t believe that they tried to pull that off” moments; The flying centurions being the one exception to that statement.
Conclusion
So what’s my final verdict? Well, while the film does take serious liberties with the source material, it does manage to entertain throughout, and that is certainly a lot more than I could say about some other films. My one major complaint would be the lack of a fully realized Eternia. I understand that budget constraints forced the filmmakers to set the majority of the film on Earth, but it still would have been nice to have seen Eternia in all of its glory. Despite this, and the far more serious issue of my beloved Battlecat being left out completely, I still enjoyed this movie and it's perfect if you are looking for an hour or so of goofy fun. Or you just want to go on a nostalgia trip to the glory days of He-man.
He-man celebrates a hard-fought “vict-o-wee.”
Reviewed by Derek Miller
Posted 1/13/08
