1957 B&W 84min
Starring: Tim Holt, Audrey Dalton, Hans Conreid, Barbara Darrow, Casey
Adams, Harlan Warde, Gordon Jones, Mimi Gibson, Marjorie Stapp, Jody
McCrea, and Eileen Harley.
Directed by: Arnold Laven
No...no it didn't
I think that I’m going to go in a slightly different direction for
this review. Instead of the 3000+ word monster reviews (that are just
taking too much time to write), I’m going to cut ‘em down a bit. More
of an overall impression and highlights kind of thing. I’ll still do
the 3000+ monsters on movies that I really enjoyed, but I think that
this format will be a little more conducive to getting reviews online
quicker than my current pace.
Hot snail-on-snail action!!!THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD!!! Sounds pretty impressive,
huh? With a title like that, you just know that this movie has to be
chock-full of action, many famous cities being destroyed, and star a
ferocious awe-inspiring, “World Challenging” monster, right? I mean, it
couldn’t possibly star a monster that is only a few feet long, and only
terrorizes a small naval base…could it? Well, unfortunately, yes…Yes it
could.
What is so strange about finding seamen on a ship? I mean that’s what they’re called…Oh…eww. Never mind.The Monster That Challenged the World (Or, TMTCTW, as I shall from
this point on, refer to it) is a movie that I really have mixed
feelings on. On the one hand, this movie is fairly boring, has a really
thin plot (But what else would you expect?), has almost no sense of
humor (Or better put, a lame sense of humor), and “stars” a whole host
of unappealing actors. On the other hand, I really like the monster.
You may think that I’ve lost my mind when you see the monster in
question, but it is actually very well done. Okay, so it doesn’t move
very well, and it looks really goofy on land, and it is basically an
overgrown, mutated snail, but, um…now I’ve forgotten my point. Oh yeah,
I like the monster.
He’s a good monster. He’s just a little shy, that’s all.TMTCTW features your typical atomic testing plot and a conveniently
timed earthquake, which unleashes an ancient, radioactively souped-up
creature. The whole movie is a fairly by the book, monster movie.
Actually, this plot could easily be placed in a Godzilla movie and it
wouldn’t be out of place. Of course, if this were a Godzilla movie, it
would be entertaining. This movie, however, is rather dull, and drags
on a little longer than it should.
Don Rickles in a cameo role.We start with the aforementioned earthquake, and a naval base where
they are performing jump drills (I guess that’s what they’re doing.
They’re jumping out of planes, at any rate) into the local sea. The
recovery boat sent to retrieve the jumper can’t find any sign of him.
When they investigate the area, they run into our gastropodial star and
the two men are killed--One directly by the monster, the other, wets
‘em and keels over from a stroke. Can’t say I blame him.
Poor bastard. He just found out that they cancelled “Baywatch.”Quickly the beaches are closed and an investigation is launched with
our hero, the dashing Cmdr. Twillinger, leading the way. We are then
subjected to, oops, I mean, treated to a lot of scenes featuring
diving, and a lot of pointless subplots, such as the chatty secretary,
the creepy historical records guy and his dream of a bigger document
room, and the rebellious teenager and her boyfriend, “Morty.”
“We now return to “Child Bride” here on AMC.”Anyhow, it is discovered that there are more than one of these
snails, and a plan is devised to destroy them all. It is successful,
but the egg that was being kept at the lab in a controlled environment,
was accidentally hatched by a little girl who messed with the
thermostat. Yeah, great security on this Naval base ‘eh? Anyway, our
cranky mollusk hatches and attacks the little girl and her mother (Who
works at the lab, and is the Commander’s love interest…Only in this
movie world would that be possible. But hey, It’s in the script,
right?). With these two trapped in janitor’s closet, the monster slowly
begins bashing the door down.
“Look, I just want to borrow a mop, alright? Calm down lady.”This whole mess culminates with an epic battle between our hero, and
the giant radioactive sea snail. A battle where our hero has the choice
between wielding a giant fire axe, or a fire extinguisher. If you have
seen a monster movie before, think you’ll be able to guess what he
picks (For those of you that haven’t seen a monster movie before, he
picks the fire extinguisher). The fire extinguisher allows the two
women to escape, but does little to injure the monster. Fortunately,
reinforcements arrive just in time to pump the big ‘ol snail full of
lead and save the day. THE END.
This scene is exciting—if you pretend not to notice that he grabbed the fire extinguisher, and not the giant freakin’ fire axe displayed prominently on the wall behind him.
Conclusion
This movie really wasn’t that bad. Like I said, it’s just a little
slow from time to time. Then you have the diving scenes. Man, I hate
diving scenes so damn much (As you can see here).
I don’t know exactly why, but I really like the monster. I find the
monster believable. Plus it looks really cool, too. With all of the
really lame subplots and the “acting abilities” of the cast, the snail
really is the one redeeming quality of the film. What really drags down
the film, however, is the mandatory romantic sub-plot between our male
and female leads. The women in the movie several times make reference
to how cute Commander Twillinger is. Now, I’m not a woman, and I’m
probably not the best judge of the attractiveness of other men (At
least, I hope I’m not…), but I’m fairly certain that not many women
would find this guy, as the female lead’s friend puts it, “Cute.” Maybe
you should judge for yourself…
MY GOD HE’S GORGEOUS!!!See? Now, he’s not what I would call an ugly gentleman, but he’s
also not a man that I would expect women to swoon over either. He’s an
average looking guy, a little doughy, not exactly Brad Pitt, but the
best the casting director could do when asked to fill the role of a
cute guy, I suppose. There is also the fact that his character is an
ill mannered, loud, impatient, cranky bastard, which does not help his
likeability as our hero, or his believability as Gail’s love interest.
Oh well, he might not be the most charming guy in the world, but boy he
sure is cute!
Reviewed by Derek Miller
Posted 6/05/05
